I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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