We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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