What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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