i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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