that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
