Duck Duck Cougar?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I want to fling myself into the sun
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
