we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
