Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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