I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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