I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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