WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize