I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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