we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
This couple is walking their pig around campus
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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