Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
