I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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