he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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