dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
