I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
