Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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