"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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