So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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