Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
