Buhtt sex?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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