I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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