totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
