I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
