My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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