I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
only if we run a train.
done.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
