it wasn't lemon gatorade
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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