I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
