Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
