Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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