so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
