I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
