drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
