STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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