Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
