Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
