These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
