I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
My liver just had a heart attack.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
