so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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