He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
