Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
time to smoke my breakfast
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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