I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
