Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
