sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
