One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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