I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
