wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
