Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Even my vagina gasped.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
