After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
