So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
