Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
