That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
