oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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