haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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