let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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