i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
