Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
