i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
