omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
i think my cat just said my name.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
