we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
