When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
